How are you guys. Sorry if my last post made you worry.
Thankfully, I’m doing a lot better. Has it been a month already? or almost.
The more I think about it, the more thankful I am for those who showed genuine concern for me.
From the very bottom of my heart, thank you. This terrifying fear towards weight gain and body image however, has turned out to be a constant and never- ending battle. I’m still working on getting over the fact that it’s okay to eat more than three meals a day, to weigh a little more than 110 lbs, and to eat more than my two year old niece (Um, yeah, that was an interesting revelation).
Over the past month, many changes have taken place, including getting used to having needles poke all over my body, drinking mysterious but definitely gross herbal medicine after every meal, turning fat into muscles by lifting half my weight thanks to my body builder trainer, feeling the warm (sometimes sweaty) embrace of the beautiful California sun on a daily basis, and meeting people here and there both old and new. Highlight was reuniting with one of the most talented photographers from Seoul in Downtown LA last week, and what you are seeing in this post, is the result of our first work together. Head over to our “Contributors” page for more on this awesome photographer!
So, I really need to talk to you about these shirts. I mean, I’ve literally been dying to tell you about them. Yeah, I’m wearing two layers- initially, I wore the mesh one underneath hoping it would peak out just a bit to give it a subtle- you know, “I-tried-but-I-don’t-want-to-look-like-I did” look, but because they are the exact same size and design, it turned out to be a failed attempt even when worn backwards. I even had purchased it in a size larger initially for that purpose which also failed. Then, I was suddenly reminded of Stella McCartney’s collection from a few seasons ago when she did a bunch of mesh over brights which I drooled over forever until I saw them a few months ago hanging in the “Sale” section of some ridiculous boutique in Seoul.
And apparently, mesh is a hot material at the moment (which I just found out this morning) so yeah, it works, either way. So these shirts, guys. And I know some of you, informed, savvy, cool folks, have noticed already- also, if you follow me on Instagram, these are part of the stuff that made me spend more than I had ever spent at J.Crew a few weeks ago (actually, I’m afraid this may have been the first time I ever bought anything from there despite the numerous hours spent checking out their stuff both online and off for years), thanks to the talented duo at Public School. Seriously though, I have a soft spot for girl’s stuff designed by menswear designers, especially when they are noticeably more mannish than usual. So far, I’ve only worn this combo once yet it has acted as a conversation starter more than once. First time was when I was getting coffee where I had to explain the entire shebang of the designer collaboration, second was when a lady walking towards me during the shoot said that she actually prefers private school boys ’cause they be naughtier. Whichever the case, as long as they are cute, right?Oh, and I almost forgot… the hair. Yeah. I haven’t had it this short since freshman year in college or something, and it feels good. I just don’t know what to do with it yet, that’s all. I’m pretty low maintenance when it comes to beauty and things… long layered hair was cool because all I had to do was to just roll it into a bun and sleep on it but man, this mid-length hair is somethin’ else. but that’s still better than having to deal with seriously damaged hair that’s literally, like, dead. Tell you what, never get your hair bleached twice and attempt to use a curling iron everyday, your hair will hate you forever. No regrets though. Nope, never. I think I’ve grown a bit… maybe not. Go away already, Cognitive Dissonance.
We were literally all over Downtown Los Angeles and loved every minute of it- catharsis sometimes requires proactivity.
Except for when my feet started retiring on me, hinting that it’s time for dinner at Bottega Louie.
These guys in a red Mustang stopped in front of me and shouted something which sounded like a rap song.
Oh, how I missed random catcalls. Yes, LA, I’m back. Time to release feet from agony.
Mesh top & shirt: J.Crew x Public School, Neon orange skort: Topshop, Black bra: Calvin Klein, White heels: Jeffrey Campbell “Hough”, Watch: Qlocktwo by Biegert & Funk, Reflective sunglasses: Quay Australia, Rings: Tomtom Jewelry, Bag: Chanel 2.55 Reissue in distressed leather
Photography by Sangtene